“It’s Too Early, Dad”: How an 8 A.M. Drop-Off Rewrote Our Mornings
Last week the Parenting-Time Expeditor (PTE) replaced our long-standing parent-pick-up rule with an 8 a.m. drop-off.
On paper it’s one sentence. In real life it’s 7 a.m. alarms, two kids whispering “Carry me to the car, Dad,” and a scramble out the door by 7 : 35.
“Why are we getting dropped off now?”
“I liked when you picked us up so we could go straight to the lake.”
“Couldn’t it be after school so we have more time with you?”
Their questions echo mine: Why fix what wasn’t broken?
What the decree actually says
“The parent commencing parenting time shall pick up the children at the start of that parenting time.”
That line guided us for two years. My understanding is that a PTE may clarify gray areas—not overwrite a clear term. Switching to drop-off feels like a rewrite, so I’ve asked for the statutory basis and whether an after-school (3 p.m.) hand-off could satisfy the directive and keep work whole. I’m still waiting on an answer.
The ripple you don’t see
Work flexibility has a ceiling
We leave at 7 : 35 a.m., hand-off at 8 : 00, and I log in 25–35 minutes late. If her job also started at 8, would the exchange still sit at that hour—and lateness just be assumed?Commutes multiply
Monday & every-other Friday → 7 : 35 a.m., 25-minute drive for drop-off
Evening → 4 : 30 p.m. clock out early to make a 5 p.m. practice—another 25-minute drive each way
One directive, two round trips, four extra drives.
Kids’ requests I can’t grant
“I’d rather get picked up at 3 p.m.; that gives us more time with you.”
“Why can’t we stay with you instead of daycare?”
Daycare reality check
Plenty of studies say high-quality daycare is “no worse” than other options. But an equally large stack of research—Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, long-term Perry Preschool follow-ups—shows that consistent, attentive time with a parent boosts language growth, emotional regulation, and long-term academic success.
My reality check is simpler:
Colt’s face when he asks why he can’t ride home with me.
Jade’s verdict after pickup: “I had the worst day ever. I just sat in daycare all day—why can’t we go to your house instead?”
Data can debate the margins; the kids’ words land in the center.
Want the source links and what we’re trying next? Read my follow-up post: Daycare vs. Dad Time → (link).
Lost lake time
My parents live five minutes from their mom’s place. The old plan—pick the kids up and head straight to the lake—worked like summer camp: tubing, fishing, frog-hunting, all with grandparents on deck. We ran that schedule last summer until the right-of-first-refusal vanished. Now the 8 a.m. drop-off adds another kink. Lake days still happen, but only after I finish work or squeeze them into a lunch break. Less sun, more shuttling, one more dent in our time together.
Small next steps
Formally requested a 3 p.m. alternative.
Blocked 7 : 45–8 : 15 a.m. on my calendar.
A single administrative tweak can feel like a fault-line shift to the people living inside it. Still showing up sometimes means showing up too early, fielding heavy questions from the back seat, and trusting the next ruling leans toward the kids’ best hours of the day.
